Today is July 19, 2012: my due date. I started writing about this Journey, the day after I miscarried. So, it is fitting that this will be the day I bring this journey to a close. Being the awesome God that He is; full of hope, love, and surprises, this is the best possible ending to all that God has already done…
November, 2011: My husband, Jon, has some exciting news for our family. He works with a company that decided to hold a raffle for Executive Recruiters who have made placements within the firm. Three names would be chosen out of a hat, each of these recruiters would receive a $2500 vacation voucher to use however they wish. Well through the grace of God, 9 of Jon’s candidates were placed within this company. This meant his name would be entered nine times into the raffle. Needless to say, his odds were pretty good. In fact his name was chosen two out of the three times. If you’ve already done the math, you know that totals $5000 in vacation money!
As excited as we all were, we had a reality that needed to be faced. I was 8 weeks pregnant and the voucher had to be used within 1 year. With the boys in school and a baby arriving mid summer, this was going to be tricky. Jon called the company, told them our situation and hoped we might get an extension on the time restriction. Instead, they said that they would cash in the voucher and just give Jon the money. I know…right!
Having not planned for this pregnancy, our insurance did not cover any pre-natal expenses. So, we put this money aside, and labeled it: “hospital bill”.
Well, fast-forward to the last week of May, 2012. We have suddenly, realized that we can all go on a vacation; but we have nothing planned. It was a bit late in the season to start trying to plan something, and quite honestly, neither of us knew where to start. I had so much going on with Blake’s Graduation and the chaos that comes with End-of-the-Year-Activities, I just never sat down to plan out anything.
It is at this point God decided to intervene. As I was on Facebook, (funny how He keeps using the very thing I go to for distraction) I noticed a status my friend Kelli had just posted 3 minutes prior:
Hello FB Friends…
I am looking to sell our timeshare week in Maui.. The week of July 20th-27th. On Ka’anapali Shore…BEAUTIFUL!!!
I quickly made sure I was the first to reply that I was interested, and then ran to my Calendar to check if the dates would work. When I realized how perfect the timing truly would be, my heart was filled with the knowledge that I am loved and He has not forgotten.
You see, I had been handling the loss of our baby pretty well all this time. But for some reason I had been dreading the week our baby would have been born. I found myself praying, “Please Lord, I don’t want to find myself cleaning my bathrooms or driving kids across the valley for yet another soccer practice, and then remember I am missing out on the joy of a new baby.” But it seems now, I’ll be so busy experiencing something new with what I have, I will not be able to focus on what I have not.
As all the vacation details were coming together, I began to realize that, this too, was part of God’s Plan for us. We used the money from “Hospital Bill” to send Kelli the $1800 for our spacious 2 bedroom villa at the Marriott. After pricing airline tickets on-line, the best deal we could find was $800 a person, round trip (let me help you with the math this time), totaling exactly $5,000. This vacation is a gift from God, to celebrate not just the small (but impactful) life of our baby in heaven…but to celebrate the life of our family!
Early on in this journey, I remember praising God, “For out of all my children, if you had to take one, thank you for taking that one.” (Never underestimate the power of perspective.) So, this trip I am going to enjoy what I have to the greatest of my ability. At one point I thought I would have to miss out on some family adventures in order to “stay back” and care for a baby. But my boys are 12 and almost 15, before long, their adventures will most likely not include their parents. So I will be biking down a volcano at sunrise, snorkeling on a good hair day, and taking in every valuable minute I have with my 3 guys! Aloha!